i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
