Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
