Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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