Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
