Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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