guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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