I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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