I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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