and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
