and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
