I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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