don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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