The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
