mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
