hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
