tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
