Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
