I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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