Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
