Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
should my penis look like a turkey
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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