so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
