She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
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