so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I will pee on everything he values.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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