I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
