I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
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just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
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I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
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