im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
