My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
