um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
