so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
vagina is talking i cant
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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