do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
this is an emotional support booty call
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
