sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
