I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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