Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
