Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
