Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
