Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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