Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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