when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
