Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize