i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
