he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I am available for nakedness
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
