i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
