Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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