3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
