During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
