"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
