grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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