You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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