you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
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My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
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note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO