you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.