i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
