I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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