why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize