I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
