Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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