She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
