If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
