I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
