Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
