just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
