please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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