There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Mom said you looked used
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
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