In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
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You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
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In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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